1.  Accidentally put mayonnaise in my coffee.

One important thing to note about Peru is that food service works a little bit differently from how it works in the USA.  For instance, if you order a cafe con leche, it is entirely possible that the waitress will first bring the coffee, sugar, and an inexplicable (and most importantly, unmarked) bottle of mayo to your table.  Later, after you have squeezed a teaspoon of mayonaisse into your coffee because the logical assumption was that this was a bottle of milk or creamer or something, the waitress will return with your milk. 

2.  Threw up in the bathroom of a bus.

Including but not limited to the panic inducing mad rush to said bathroom, having to dash past an entire VIP class bus full of well-off Peruvians. The good news, however, is that this episode was the last of whatever was wrong with me, and I´m feeling much better now.

3.  I swear I had more than just two, but then those two happened, putting everything into perspective.

There were countless language mishaps, unsightly displays of foreignness, etc.  But they don´t hold a candle to mayo in the coffee or the vomit bus.